In the past few days, there have been a few things that I've left unsaid to people.
I'm not usually one to hold my opinions back, except in moments where a formal politeness is required. One of the only other times is when my statements will potentially leave a very sour taste in someone's mouth, even though they're not intended to be cutting comments.
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The old Fuck Buddy isn't in Toronto...hell, he hasn't been for months. Every few weeks I get a poke on Facebook from him, a little reminder that he's alive. It also reminds me of our cycle, how we keep fooling around and I get a small rush of sexual excitement whenever he messages me. Then we set up a time, and he usually keeps me waiting around until the early hours of the next morning before showing up on my doorstep. The sex is usually quite banal and more often than not, when he leaves, I feel only slightly satisfied. And exhausted the next day, because I got four hours of sleep in lieu of boring sex.
He's not one to show his hand, so I never really know quite what he thinks of me. I more often than not, I'd guess he just likes to get his rocks off, and likes the fact that he doesn't have to go trolling for another boy to sleep with. But every time he messages me this summer, it surprises me a little...I'm obviously on his mind, because he's thousands of miles away from me, yet still sending me the occasional communication. Hrm...what does that mean? Is he just that good with PR that he's keeping the embers glowing until he gets home?
And his messages get even stranger...from "Hey." to "How's it going." to the shocker..."Dude. I miss you haha."
Each time I've replied with a vague, "Yeah, miss you too..." style comment.
But each time, I stop myself from typing what's really on my mind.
"Do you miss me, or do you just miss fucking me? Having a bit of a horny moment, are we?"
Really, I'm just curious.
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A guy I used to go out with randomly messaged me this afternoon on a gay site. We're on good terms with each other, so much so that I get the feeling he wants to date me again. While I don't see us working in the dating sense, I do see us sleeping with each other. And why not...when we were good, we were good.
Out of curiosity, I checked out his profile. His picture was awful, albeit candid. His description was a bit of a mixed message...the typical 'down to earth guy' thing with a curious statement tagged on the end about 'enjoy life and other human beings'. Further down, it listed his interests both in and out of the sack. Strangely, at least to me, he didn't have "Relationships/LTR" written anywhere. A little out of context for me, since we seemed to have been shooting for something more than just a casual date.
Maybe he was just interested in something casual after all. Maybe I should learn to just date for the hell of it, to not expect things to always show signs of getting serious. Not like I do that on a first date, but instead of moving on when the spark vanishes, maybe I should take a page from his book and just 'enjoy life and other human beings'.
I replied to his message, saying that I of course want to see him again come the fall, hoping that he didn't take that as a sign we're giving it another shot. But again, I left out the questions that would most satisfy my curiosity.
"So, I thought you weren't the type to hook up with randoms. Just how many guys are you sleeping with on an average week?"
Showing posts with label Fuck Buddy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fuck Buddy. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Speaking of...
I apologize for the tardiness in my posts.
I've been off the grid since Wednesday evening, and actually semi-busy doing things. So for your brief entertainment tonight, here's a few random thoughts from my week.
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Seems like Elevator Boy had a party. At least that’s what Facebook said. One of the newsfeed items was that someone we both know was attending some sort of shindig at his place, so naturally I clicked to see where and who would be attending.
Not that I knew anyone going other than our one mutual connection, I was intrigued just the same. Then I thought I was getting creepy on my Facebook stalking and promptly closed the window and forgot about it. After all, my main goal with him is to simply introduce myself so I don’t feel like a stalker every time I see him. And checking out his Facebook does not help that argument.
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Speaking of Facebook, it’s been weeks, and I still have not heard from Former Gay Best Friend. Makes me a little sad that he couldn’t take the time out to answer me, even if it was just to say no thanks. After all, he was the one who added me to Facebook; he initiated conversation earlier with a few messages back and forth.
So now I’m tempted to message again to just see if he’ll reply. Perhaps I just got lost in the shuffle online and he didn’t remember getting the message? I’m not sure…hey man, if you happen to be a reader, don’t be freaked out! Message me, because we have a lot to talk about. (That was my imagination just now, in case you didn’t notice…)
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Speaking of gay boys, I’ve been seeing my fuck buddy a little more often than usual. More often being more than once a month, but less than once a week. Our meetings are fun, because I get to have sex. But it’s getting to the point where things are getting a bit…stale. I want a little more ‘challenging’ sex, if that makes any sense. We basically do the deed, and while that is always enjoyable, he’s very lazy in bed and doesn’t go out of his way to make it a fully engaged experience.
Plus, he apparently doesn’t like to bottom. This puzzles me to no end, because I cannot imagine a boy who does not take at least some pleasure from the act. He also is tongue tied while we’re in bed, but has no problem in telling me online what he likes and doesn’t like.
“Yeah, sure,” he said to my last message asking if he was free. “But you can’t fuck me. I’m so not into that haha.”
Hrm…I really should find someone new to sleep with.
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Speaking of lazy, I’ve been terrible at keeping up my links. There are so many people I need to link to, and a few I have to remove due to retirement. I would also like to overhaul the layout, because I haven’t changed it once since I started blogging. But because I am both unmotivated and untechnologically skilled when working in HTML/online stuff, I don’t know how to do that. Any requests/suggestions for what you’d like to see changed?
I've been off the grid since Wednesday evening, and actually semi-busy doing things. So for your brief entertainment tonight, here's a few random thoughts from my week.
---
Seems like Elevator Boy had a party. At least that’s what Facebook said. One of the newsfeed items was that someone we both know was attending some sort of shindig at his place, so naturally I clicked to see where and who would be attending.
Not that I knew anyone going other than our one mutual connection, I was intrigued just the same. Then I thought I was getting creepy on my Facebook stalking and promptly closed the window and forgot about it. After all, my main goal with him is to simply introduce myself so I don’t feel like a stalker every time I see him. And checking out his Facebook does not help that argument.
---
Speaking of Facebook, it’s been weeks, and I still have not heard from Former Gay Best Friend. Makes me a little sad that he couldn’t take the time out to answer me, even if it was just to say no thanks. After all, he was the one who added me to Facebook; he initiated conversation earlier with a few messages back and forth.
So now I’m tempted to message again to just see if he’ll reply. Perhaps I just got lost in the shuffle online and he didn’t remember getting the message? I’m not sure…hey man, if you happen to be a reader, don’t be freaked out! Message me, because we have a lot to talk about. (That was my imagination just now, in case you didn’t notice…)
---
Speaking of gay boys, I’ve been seeing my fuck buddy a little more often than usual. More often being more than once a month, but less than once a week. Our meetings are fun, because I get to have sex. But it’s getting to the point where things are getting a bit…stale. I want a little more ‘challenging’ sex, if that makes any sense. We basically do the deed, and while that is always enjoyable, he’s very lazy in bed and doesn’t go out of his way to make it a fully engaged experience.
Plus, he apparently doesn’t like to bottom. This puzzles me to no end, because I cannot imagine a boy who does not take at least some pleasure from the act. He also is tongue tied while we’re in bed, but has no problem in telling me online what he likes and doesn’t like.
“Yeah, sure,” he said to my last message asking if he was free. “But you can’t fuck me. I’m so not into that haha.”
Hrm…I really should find someone new to sleep with.
---
Speaking of lazy, I’ve been terrible at keeping up my links. There are so many people I need to link to, and a few I have to remove due to retirement. I would also like to overhaul the layout, because I haven’t changed it once since I started blogging. But because I am both unmotivated and untechnologically skilled when working in HTML/online stuff, I don’t know how to do that. Any requests/suggestions for what you’d like to see changed?
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