Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Such a turn off...

Blood is not my thing.

Nor is vomit, or pretty much any other human bodily excretion. I'm not a squeamish person, per se; it just seems like when confronted with a pool of red, even if it's not my own, I get a bit of a gut wrenching feeling.

I'd make a great nurse, right?

So it was quite the moment in the men's washroom today that left me standing awkwardly a few feet from the grand white bowl, mouth agape and stomach clenched.

I'd strolled in innocently enough, planning to do my business and get back to work. Unlike many, I don't find the bathroom a refuge; there is no stack of magazines in my loo, since I prefer to do my reading on a softer seat than a plastic ring.

My phone was in one hand, tapping out a text message, while I locked the door with the other. I hit send, then looked down.

Inside, surrounded by clean, clear water, was a large dollop of blood and a small smear of brown.

Being the quick thinker I am, I flushed immediately before the sight made me gag. Only after the water had rushed away did I think about what someone had left behind. Can you say 'fucking gross!?', cause I sure can.

Of course, my mind then jumped to wondering just who it was that left a great deal of themselves behind in the toilet at work. It looked as if their ass had been raped with a rusty nail, then left to unload into a public rest room.

I shudder to think how this happened, and pray the poor soul isn't suffering too much. I mean, really! Jesus, that must have hurt!

I also shudder to think that anal sex can do such collateral damage to one's colon.

So, thank you to the guy who left a piece of himself behind in the toilet, only for me to discover after eating lunch. I sincerely hope you're not bleeding to death, or suffering any long-term effects from your backdoor activities.

I'll just try to focus on the good feeling instead of the bloody mental picture I have next time my own back door becomes the subject of certain activities.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

maybe it was just really bad hemorrhoids...

Aek said...

It's surprisingly easy to tear the mucosal membrane of the rectum. Thankfully it also heals pretty fast too.

Seth said...

Sometimes I just looooove reading what people have to say LOL.

"""It looked as if their ass had been raped with a rusty nail, then left to unload into a public rest room."""

Thanks so much for that image, its going to make my dreams that much more colorful tonite.

LoL just kidding.

It reminds me of this time, my friend and his boyfriend, we all stopped at a gas station rest room so the two could pee. They came back a few minutes later, white as a ghost, and my friend (prone to dramatic theatrics) said the bathroom walls were literally covered with shit, and he was afraid to enter the room even, so he just peed INTO the room from the doorway and ran away.

Just figured I'd share that one.

:-)

Anonymous said...

Oh man! Yuck! I read that anal sex is so so so very much dangerous. I guess this is proof.

And peeing INTO the bathroom? Hahahahaha, classy:)

Davis said...

Hematochezia. Ugh.

God but I hope you chose another stall.