Sunday, March 6, 2011

These dreams...

I'm such a loser that Even the guys I dream about are complicated and unattainable.

Sweeping statement, I know, but having just had a very vivid, lengthy dream about some fictitious guy that I was apparently totally in love with but in a beyond-complicated situation.

I say this dream was 'long' because it literally chronicled a relationship from beginning to end. Not every second, but enough for the 'viewer' (myself) to get the picture. I say this dream was vivid because I actually had that chest-swelling, stomach-fluttering feeling of love as I dreamed I was lying in bed, cuddling my anonymous boyfriend.

I never did catch his name...

Of course, it couldn't just be a happy dream. It couldn't have been a fun and easy distraction made up by my subconscious to ebb the flow of loneliness I've been feeling. Nope, it had to be as complicated and fucked up as my real-life relationships are.

The general plot dealt with me being introduced to a guy by my apparent best friend, some girl from high-school who I barely hung out with. We subsequently fell madly, passionately in love. I can't remember if the sex was any good, but there was a lot of cuddling.

So everything seems cheery in the quasi-futuristic world that my dream took place in. Except for the fact that my mystery man happened to be the son of two devout Mormons, his mother having her Masters in Mormon Theology and his father having a PhD in the subject.

Where the fuck did my subconscious come up with that?

Anyway, long story short, I agonizingly realized that there's no way for us to be together, given his background and the fact that he could not break away from his family and church. It ended touchingly with my 'best friend' and I sitting on her balcony on a summer evening lamenting lost love.

Alas, even in my dreams, the place of blissful escape, I still manage to meet a complicated man and find myself in a doomed relationship.

Yay me.

1 comment:

Aek said...

Awww. It almost sounds like something from a movie . . . Dreams are interesting like that.