Weekend away...

I managed to make it home alone.

That is to say, without the certain someone who was probably interesting in coming along too. Thought I may have been having fun at the bar, I started to get really nervous when it was time to leave.

Last night we went out with a couple groupings of rugby players in Ottawa. It started with watching the hockey game here with my host and her friends, then proceeded downtown to a big bar, filled with rugby players of both sexes.

This was a nice prospect, because I got to drink in the hot guys surrounding me. Some of them were the token not-so-hot players, the ones with flattened noses and contorted facial features. But there were lots of others who made up for them.

Around that point we got into a bit of a discussion about the team, and homosexuality. One girl boldly announced that any of the male rugby teams would shoot a player who was known to be gay. "It's just that bad," she said, "they're fucked."

She explained that there were openly gay girls on some of the teams, and that nobody cares. But that the guys are all complete homophobes, and that no gay guy would ever be out to his teammates. She had even talked to a coach about it, and he seemed pretty confident that there were guys on the team who were pretty deep in the closet.

"'Oh sure' he said, 'there's guys who are gay, but they can't come out. I know.' I mean what the fuck!?" she said.

Kinda sad, looking around the bar at all the guys, and knowing there's a handful who are in an impossible situation. How terrible it must feel to be surrounded by homophobic guys, and to have to play straight for fear of some pretty harsh consequences...it must be really depressing. I know we've heard about guys in sports who have secret boyfriends or relations, but it must be so oppressive. They must really love the game, to put up with that crap.

Later we got to drunk-dialing people...and I accidentally called Danny. I was going for the entry just below him in my phone book, and thought I'd gotten it. It rang a few times, then a voicemail came on.

"Oh, FUCK!" I said rather loudly, but it was thankfully drown out by the noise of the bar. So now he's got 'one missed call' on his phone from me, and I look like a desperate idiot...I mean calling at midnight on a Saturday isn't exactly good timing. I don't really expect that much will happen except a head-shake on his part.

Around this part of the evening we all started dancing. I'd been chatting with an older girl who works in some government office, and of course was the only person at the table having somewhat of an intellectual discussion. We went out and started dancing...and it was terrible. 'Frigid' I would say. I mean, it felt like as awkward I imagine it is when dancing with a guy you're into but is just so not into you. Not that I was 'interested', but I wanted to dance! (Which was strange in itself).

She bailed after a few songs, and I was left searching for someone else. And there she was...the blond who had been eying me all night. She was a friend-of-a-friend who had came along with the group. We started dancing around, just having a good time.

A little later on, Ashley's boyfriend kinda danced over our way a little. "Just have confidence!" he said, and shoved my arms towards her ass.

I rolled my eyes a little, and smiled, and just went with it. I mean, I was having fun, and could not be more unattracted to her, so whats the harm.

She certainly did respond though...and made her interest clear...

Strangely, some other guy came up to her and started talking to her, while I had an arm around her back. What's this? I gave him a bit of a look, but considering I didn't really care what she did, I let them talk. After a few words, he looked over at me. "Don't worry dude, she's all yours," he said, and walked off. OK, so was he booking her for next weekend?...ah well.

Things started dying down, so we went back to get more drinks. There was only six of us left at our table, and plenty of seating...but the other guy who was 'encouraging' me before practically begged the blond to sit on my lap, which she happily did. We did a little talking, and I confirmed not only did I not like her physically, her mind was similarly unattractive.

The lights went up, and it was time to go home. It was only Ashley and I heading back to her place, as her boyfriend had left moments before, preparing to hurl. We were waiting for one other person, the blond girl's friend, but she was off flirting with the bartender.

"We can't wait for this," Ashley said, "she'll be here for hours." So she sent her friend over to wait with her.

"OK, we have to leave," I said. "She's not coming home with me! I'm not going there. Period."

"Aw, come on, have a bit of fun!" she laughed, jokingly. "Besides, I didn't announce it to everyone, they don't know..."

"I don't care!" I said, mock-hysterical. "I have my virginity to preserve."

We ducked out the door and grabbed a cab, and I'll hopefully never see my new friend again.