"Maybe you could..."

I was asked the strangest thing the other day - for help.

Not just any help, mind you. That's not strange, and I'll gladly give it. I was asked for gay help. From me.

It all went down at a casual get together last week. I was there with a few people I knew, and a lot of people they knew. We were having a good time chatting, and I was surprised to find myself in a few different conversations. Pleasantly, mind you, because I do love talking to approachable, open, likable people.

I of course instantly knew the gay boy in the room, who sat chatting with a few girls. He was pretty quiet through the night, and didn't really speak to me. His whole appearance was cute, in this innocent, boyish way. He was even 20, which surprised me since he looked a lot younger.

Me being me, that is to say, inept at engaging in anything longer than a "Hey" with a gay guy, sat on the sidelines of his conversation, not really paying much attention until a mutual friend swung herself over his crotch, wrapped her arms around his head and started talking to him. I laughed a little...why do women love to straddle gay guys?...that is to say, until she finished her conversation with him and promptly plopped down on my lap.

"Well hi there," I said, laughing. She giggled, and we started chatting about nothing, her hands cupped behind my neck. This didn't bother me, because I know her well enough and really do quite like her. The only problem in the situation was that she was the wrong sex...had she been a guy I may have been giving the situation a much different approach.

Time wore on and she slid off, sitting next to me and talking to other people. I went back to a conversation on my left, until I noticed that she had now lay the gay guy on to her chest, and was pulling on my arm, dragging me into the fray. All three of us were quite drunk at this point, and we were laughing and making mindless conversation. She introduced me to the guy, sitting three inches from my face and developing an interesting look in his eyes.

We talked for a few minutes like that, then all rolled off and went back to our other chats. But again, moments later, she was sitting on my knee.

"You know that guy," she said to me. "Well, he's sorta new. Really new, actually, doesn't go out much or stuff like that. Maybe you could, uh, talk with him?"

My eyebrows raised involuntarily. Wait...she wanted me to take this guy out on the town, show him the gay sights and introduce him to the community? I would have laughed out loud, if I wasn't so shocked. I mean, I don't purport to know anything about anything gay, yet here I was being asked for advice.

"Well..." I said awkwardly, glancing over at him. "I would, for sure. But see, the thing is...I'm pretty new myself. Don't know much of anything. Don't know I could be much help, but I'd hang out with him again for sure."

Pretty new as in just fell off the fucking boat...but hey, apparently I don't broadcast that message...

She nodded and again went off. I laughed a little to myself, seeing the humour in the situation.

Things were dying down, and at the end of the night I said my goodbyes to the two of them. I gave her a hug, and him a straight look in the eye, trying to muster the whole 'unspoken understanding' thing via a piercing gaze.

"I hope I'll see you again soon," I said simply to him. He continued his eye contact and nodded slightly.

"Yeah, me too," he said, deceptively simply but with that whole, 'Bet your ass I will' feeling behind it.

I laughed for the rest of the night at the thought of me being a gay guide. But who knows, maybe if we strike up a bit of a friendship, anything could wind up happening.

But for the moment, I'll puzzle over how I became 'Steve - the gay in the know'.