Good morning...

As a society, we try to look our best most of the time.

Even when we're not decked out in the latest wares, there is the sense that we should be trying to look as together as possible. Our ears should be washed thoroughly, underwear changed daily, teeth scrubbed pearly white and hair kept to appropriate angles. After all, what would the neighbors think if we were hit by a bus? Sloppiness, even in today's modern world, is still looked down upon with the heavy suspicion of a cantankerous Grandmother.

We always try to look good when we're seeing someone. Weather it's the night of the first date, the afternoon coffee or the midnight rendezvous, the aim is to look sexy and civilized. And quite often this can lead to looking sexy and a lot less dressed.

But when you've been rolling around in bed all night with product in your hair, slept on a strange pillow that left crease marks in your face and wound up developing a slightly, uh, 'used' scent, not unlike being ridden hard and put away wet, the appearance the morning after can be remarkably different from the well-kept gent you were the night before.

So how do you not look like shit when you wake up the next morning with a boy in your bed? I mean, with product gunking up your hair, sticking it out at all sorts of crazy angles after a night of sleep, you have the capacity to look like you just broke out of a mental institution. Just hope that you haven't drooled on yourself or your pillow, because that certainly will take your credibility down a peg or three.

Add to that the 24 hours of stubble, the bad breath, the eye crusts...there is no limit to the changes that occur in appearance after a few hours under the covers.

It says a bit about ourselves if we're concerned about such things. Logically, everyone understands that you don't roll out of bed looking the the edible human being you were rolling in. It's impossible, and it's shallow to think otherwise. But at the same time, I'm always concerned about making myself look at least semi-presentable; it's not that I mind if the guy looks a little worse for wear, but I want him to still recall that flicker of cuteness that existed the night before.

In some ways, it's not really an issue. If the boy was just there on a one-time visit, then who really cares if he looks at your uninvited fauxhawk and thinks you look insane? His opinion really shouldn't matter, since you may not even know his last name to begin with. And the ones that are staying in bed with you, cuddling and talking about nothing, are probably going to look past the ridiculousness of your appearance, because after all, they're interested in the whole 'you'. They're going to give you the benefit of a caring eye. Hell, they might even think it's 'cute'.

I'll freely admit I look 100% better after a shower, and 110% better after a cup of coffee. And so far, nobody has run from my bedroom screaming when the shades are pulled open and sunlight "tears off the shadows on the strange new flesh you've found" (to borrow a phrase). Maybe it really is part of the whole experience of 'being' with someone.

Just like all other parts of life, you see them at their best, and at their worst.