'Socially old man'...

Apparently, to the outside world, I am 27 years old.

I've been told I can't pull 27 off...but 25 or 26 is fine.

Let me remind you all, I'm 21. Therein lies my frustration.

For the past few months, everyone I ever meet immediately thinks I look well beyond my age. I'm not really sure what causes it; even after asking, people just say I 'look like I could be 27'. Every time it happens (well, happened...I can see it coming now so I'm more prepared) it surprises me a little and makes me question not only how people view me, but I how I present myself.

I got into a big discussion with a friend over coffee on Tuesday. She's the third person I've seen socially back home since I moved back out (how sad is that?) and I relished the chance to have adult conversations...with someone my own age.

Somewhere along the line, I brought up the funny fact that everyone new I meet believes me to be a lot older. We batted it around for a while, trying to understand why people add six years to my life when some people look so young that those years are removed instead.

"Well, you don't really 'act your age', do you?" she said. I shot her a puzzled look as she continued. "You're a lot more mature, even for 21, so people pick up on that."

"Great, now I'm fucked because I'm the mature, responsible one," I said. "Oh, wait, fucked again...high school would have been the first instance where not being the mature, responsible one would have been a lot more fun."

It seems that across the board, people just fall over themselves to label me 27. Guys I've dated thought I was 'older', people on the street, friends from school...

Once I was going out with this cute guy, around 23. On our first 'date' (it wasn't really date-ish at that point) we were walking outside, the sun shining in our faces, doing the whole get-to-know-your-basics conversation. I love learning about people, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say about me.

"So, how old are you again?" he asked, innocently enough.

"21," I said, nonchalantly. After all, it's true.

"Oh," he said. "Really. Because you look 27."

Behind my sunglasses, my eyes rolled and I tried not to purse my lips too visibly.

I've even got into words with a guy or two who I was organizing some recreational time with. "You're not 21," one of them shot at me, "come on, you're way older than that. Don't be such a fake." No matter how much you promise and try to convince them, it really just adds doubt and makes you look even more desperate. Needless to say, we didn't spend any recreational time together.

I thought I'd hit a bit of a reprieve on Wednesday when I went to an electronics store to buy a can of that compressed air stuff. My Mac is on the fritz and one of the suggestions was to blow out some dust from the thing, which called for me to buy a $10 can of air-with-a-straw.

As I was rung through the cash, the teenage girl behind the counter looked me up and down. "You're over 17, right?" she asked seriously.

My jaw dropped. True, I was wearing a hoodie, jeans and a t-shirt, but come on, I don't 'look' 17. Do I?

"Are you serious," I asked her. "I just bought some bottles of wine and nobody carded me there!"

She paused. "Well, anythings possible," she said, "you could be under 17."

"Oh, thank you. Oh, God! Thank you!" I said, as she laughed and nodded. "This never happens anymore!"

She smiled. "I know how you feel, I love to get carded these days."

OK, so count her for one that doesn't think I'm 27. One out of a thousand.

I just don't know what all of this means for me. In a society where youth is appreciated, but age is supposedly 'just a number', do we 'socially old men' have a shot at meeting someone our own age?

Fundamentally, it doesn't matter at all what our age is. We all get along based on personality and compatibility, friends and lovers included. But why does it irk me so that people refuse to acknowledge my actual age, instead tacking on a few too many years for my preference?

And, since it always comes back to boys, what does it mean when someone who looks 27 but is actually 21? How ridiculous will I look trying to pick up guys in the 18-22 bracket when they all think I'm an old man of 27? And, dear God, how will I feel when they pick me up hoping that I'm actually the older man? I just don't need another strike against me in the dating world.

It does make me wonder, though, if I would have better luck dating someone who really is 27. Since I'm supposedly so much older, mature, etc. then maybe my perfect match is someone who really is that much older. Having never done it before, I don't really know how it would work out. I just hope I don't look too old for the youngins, but too young for the guys who actually are 27.

Do I really mind looking that much older? Yes, I guess I do, because it's not what I find attractive. I like guys who are my age, who look like it; the only thing I can hope for now is that opposites really do attract. And it's not that I really am bothered by looking a little older...it's when I'm told I look a lot older that things get a little scary. 23 or 24 I could handle...27, not so much.

The one thing I always joke about is my hope that this is how I'll look until I actually am 27. If I can just keep from starting to look any older, I can (sort of) live with looking past my age. When you do the math, if I still look markedly older than I am, I'll look like I'm in my 30's when I'm 24.

Now that's enough to put lines on your face.