On Saturday...

10:23 a.m. - Oooh, new e-mail! "Yeah, tonight sounds like a good idea. Dinner at 7 and then head to the party? Call me and let me know and I'll pass the word. You might have to drop me a text though if I don't pick up."

This all sounds good! Enough time to do all sorts of things needed at home, get ready, and go out for nice evening.

11:30 a.m. - Called Nikki. "Uhh...hi. Well, I got your email, sounds good. Call me when you get this so we can set a time/place."

Odd feeling things are not going to work as smoothly as planned, but did leave voicemail so should be fine.

3:48 p.m. - Still no word. Send text message repeating voicemail message. Knee deep in dishes, vacuuming, scrubbing et cettera, and will keep mind occupied.

5:29 p.m. - Call again. "Uhh...hi again! Sorry, not being a pest, just wondering what was up for dinner? Call me, my number is..."

Honestly, where are people? Did world fall asleep, leave phones on silent or sneak away for dirty week-end shag and forget to tell me?

5:45 p.m. - Have not heard back. Still. And do not have numbers of other people attending said dinner, so cannot simply call and confirm plans with them. Why does my life always have to be this way!?

6:02 p.m. - Do not want to go to scary party all alone, knowing only the birthday girl and one other guy who is so falsely friendly know he merely is acting so as not to illicit hateful vibes from others. Phone has not rung, no messages. Maybe phone is broken? Call self to see that phone indeed does ring.

6:10 p.m. - Jump in shower, but decide in shower that if not called by 8 p.m. will open bottle of wine, crack first page of "Notes on a Scandal" and read all night. After all, have had social outings already and do not need to be out on a Saturday night just because it is socially expected.

6:25 p.m. - Roommate comes home from day at work. Explain situation to her while she looks on with a bemused smirk on her face. Wonder if she thinks self is so horribly anti-social that made up dinner/birthday party to appear indeed to have something to do on Saturday night. Instead get pity invite to horrible club, "But I know that I'm not as interesting as your friends are," she says.

6:35 p.m. - Sitting in bathrobe, hair wet, staring at cell phone. Attempting to send psychic vibes towards Nikki and trigger some 6th sense, which no doubt will remind her to call me instantly.

6:38 p.m. - Text again..."Are we still on for tonight? Sorry to be a pest."

6:42 p.m. - Phone rings. "Heyyyy!!! Whats up?" Nikki, who has been in a movie and unable to answer her phone, decided to call me at the last possible second. "We sooo should have called you!" she adds brilliantly, but cannot stay mad because plans are now on. Arrange to meet at Starbucks. Still sitting naked in room with damp hair.

6:47 p.m. - Gah, which scarf goes with this? Does brown actually go with purple? Or can this set new trend, being so clashed that one is actually fashionable?

6:48 p.m. - Friends have walked to wrong Starbucks and thought they should let me know. Indeed they should have. Roommate comes in and watches me finish getting dressed for some reason, dressed in dirty shirt and pajama bottoms. Have mild but mean thrill from being the one who's 'going out' while she is finally stationary.

7:04 p.m. - Make it to Starbucks, where conversations stalls us from actually going to dinner until almost 8:00 p.m. Make stop for wine along the way to take to party.

9:03 p.m. - Get awkward gut feeling when discussion turns to relationships, sex, etc. since unsure if people actually know. Vaguely answer questions on topic, make odd "uhh" sound and then decide to pull out the, "Well, I don't know if you know, but I'm gay," line. Now officially out to these people, who all went, "Aww, we love you just the way you are! Well, almost more!"

10:25 p.m. - Ring buzzer at party unsure of what unit number supposed to go to. After brief second, someone answers, screams, "Heyyyy," buzzes us through and hangs up. Stare in shocked amusement at each other, and ring again, only to get the same result. Have rough idea of where party is, and decide we can probably hear it from down the hall anyway.

10:27 p.m. - Open door to see birthday girl, completely plastered, scream, "Oh my Godddd! You guys! What are you doing here!?"

Hesitate for brief moment, since self was invited to party as well as other people in my company, but take it more as a 'Wow, you came!' moment.

Birthday girl screamed for about five minutes about how surprised she was, and instantly our friend statuses were boosted because we were the surprise of the evening for her. Actually felt v. nice to be so welcomed and bask in such pure emotion.

10:38 p.m. - After talking with a few people, mainly self's friends, notice someone hovering over shoulder. Turn around to be greeted with a, "Hello Steve," from a boy I recognized instantly but could not call up a name. Best guess was Mark, so decided not so reply with a name. Useless anyway, because would much rather just talk and catch up, since I never actually see said guy outside of these parties. Oooh...he's cuter than I remembered...

11:27 p.m. - Realize I am surrounded completely by straight women and gay men. Boys aren't flamingly gay, yet maintain the usual attributes of successful, fun, outgoing gays, which included multiple pictures and ass grabbing.

11:32 p.m. - Have somehow sliced thumb open, and can only feel it now, like some sort of tingling at end of extremity. Look at it closely, then go for more wine.

12:03 a.m - The boys are now in full out ass slapping mode, comparing their different assets. Fascinating to watch, as they have that sexual flicker in their eyes as they jokingly grope asses.

12:31 a.m. - New face arrives (why are these boys all cute?) and ends up in conversation with our circle. Interesting guy, but eyes clearly scanning the room.

12:43 a.m. - Word circulates that party will now shift to club/bar of choice. Group decides to bow out, but stays until everyone leaves.

1:02 a.m. - Last boy to arrive has wickedly sexual look on face while gabbing the ass of the boy in front of him, walking out the door. Resolve to work on fiery sexual looks for future instances.

1:08 a.m. - Group leaves plus one, Mark guy from beginning of party, who needs to walk in my direction. People start falling off as they make their way home, but Mark and I continue to walk together. Realize am much better at conversation that involves a few people to play off of. Try to not look as if flailing for proper topics of conversation.

1:10 a.m. - Mark is fascinated by how busy it is tonight. From experience would agree, as self often walks home while everyone else is lining up for bars/clubs/sex.

1:12 a.m. - Arrive at line Mark needs to be in. Smiled and said it was nice to see him, hopefully our paths would cross again soon. He looks at me and gives me a hug before I stalk off mysteriously into the night...