Warm inside and out...

The sunshine has really changed my weekend.

Our first fully sunny, slightly warm weekend of 2008 has brought many things. Saturday saw me hanging out in Kensington Market, part of our Chinatown, with a group of people I haven't seen in a while. We actually got to eat out on a patio in the full blazing sun!

I ended up buying a random gray pinstripe suit for $40. The jacket fit pretty well, and there was no way I was putting on the trousers until it was professionally cleaned, which is why I dropped it at my dry cleaner on the way home.

It was just one of those great relaxing days, lots of fun with good food, good people and lots of sunshine. I found myself felling really great, really warm inside (as stupid as that sounds). I guess it's just because spring is fast approaching.

When I got home, I realized I'd been messaged online by some random guy. It was all pretty random; he dropped me a line, and we had an awkward conversation while my messenger software sputtered and went in and out. I really wasn't feeling it, so I said goodbye and moved on with my evening, which involved watching college basketball for the first time in my life.

This morning I got up feeling pretty great, since it was the second sunny day in a row. I made some plans in my mind to head way out to the west end and visit a little bakery there that I love, plus catch some more rays in a park or something, hopefully with a good book in my hand.

Casually I went on messenger again, and lo and behold the guy from last night began to chat with me again. I wasn't really doing much else, so I stuck around to say hi and see if things went anywhere.

After a few minutes of conversation, I was becoming less and less interested. His writing was sporadic and fractured.

Out of nowhere, he suggested we do something this afternoon, since it was a beautiful day. Part of me felt like saying no, but I thought what the hell. This was me embracing the 'go with the flow' mentality that doesn't come so easily to me. I figured if it was crappy, I could politely leave and still do whatever I wanted for the afternoon.

It took half an hour to hammer out the details of our afternoon, which frustrated me to no end. I felt like dropping the whole thing several times throughout, because we were simply not making any progress, but I held out until we decided where and when. The time: 3 p.m. The place: Union Station, with plans to walk down to the lake.

Surprising even to me, I made it early. I sat in the sun, warming myself and wondering why I was wasting a perfectly good afternoon on this insanity. My argument was, it was better for me to take advantage of meeting someone/doing something new than just hanging out by myself all afternoon.

When he approached me, I didn't quite know what to think. There he was. I was amazing at how much I didn't feel; usually if I ever do meet someone it's because I'm attracted, I go in knowing there's something there. Today I just felt very relaxed and very much without any preconceived notions.

We chatted for a few minutes as we walked, and I started to actually learn about who this guy was. He's been here only a few months, after living in other parts of Canada, and only arrived in the country a couple years ago. He's originally from South America.

As we talked I really enjoyed learning all about his life, with his interesting past and present and great life stories. All the while I wasn't really feeling anything other than the sun on my face.

We walked along the lake for a bit, then went for coffee. It was then that I really started getting this guy. Our conversation was just so natural, our views so complimentary. He was just so much different than others I've met, so together yet still so young.

Around this time he professed that he was pretty lonely in Toronto, that he didn't have many friends in the city and was still getting his feet wet. I took this as a sign for myself, at the very least I should walk out of this with a new friend. Maybe I shouldn't even consider the other options, just enjoy his company.

More time passed effortlessly, and we wound up back on the lake, this time sitting on a stone bench gazing into the clear sky. He told me all about his life, his family, growing up. I told him pretty much the same, even found myself telling him little things that I don't mention normally to others.

The next thing I noticed, our knees were riding up against each other, then our hands, then our hands clasped together.

We got up and walked casually along the boardwalk, hand in hand. Holy shit, I thought to myself as we strolled along. What the hell is going on here?

After another coffee stop, we made our way back north into the city, still walking hand in hand. It felt so surreal, but so natural and so right. Since we were both pretty chilled from the afternoon on the waterfront, we took the underground path north, snaking our way through mostly deserted walkways.

Somewhere we came upon some photos on a wall, and he seemed interested to stop and look at them. I told him a bit of history, where it connected, and he seemed really interested. Then things went quiet. Then he slowly pulled my arm around his back.

Then we leaned in, and kissed.

Holy shit, I'm kissing a boy and I think people are still walking by and it's not even dark yet! I thought calmly.

Our walk took a long time. We talked, then fell into comfortable silence, as if we've known each other for years. Not once did I feel odd or out of place.

"You know, you make me feel so happy," he said softly. "I just feel relaxed inside around you."

My heart sort of melted, but it was in many ways true. I felt pretty much the same as he did.

We stopped at intermittent places and kissed. I wouldn't even say made out, because it was far from teenaged lust.

"I don't normally like Canadian guys," he said in a whisper. "They're cold, but you're nothing like them."

After another stop, he whispered the most charming and suspect line of the afternoon: "So, where are your wings?"

But honestly, it didn't feel like total crap. It wasn't cliched. It wasn't corny or stupid. I just felt right.

I had to get him dropped off at work, so we finally parted ways. "Will I see you again?" he asked me, genuinely. "I'm not sure, but it seems like guys here sometimes don't call you again."

"I'm not normal," I said, laughing. "You have my number, use it!"

And with a quick kiss, we let go of each others hands and went our separate ways.

---

Now, in retrospect, this all sounds completely insane, and feels sort of like a dream. I've since come home, filled in both my roommates, done this and that, and found that I don't really believe what happened just a few hours ago.

What really struck me was how different he was, mostly because of his culture. We talked at length about how warm South Americans are, how much emotion is displayed and how honest they are. It really carried through to our afternoon, his words weren't cheap lines. It really felt like he was telling it like it was.

On the other hand...it could all be insane and never amount to anything. I'm still trying to evaluate that.

Ooh, just got a text message. "Where your wings are?"

Bottom line, I guess it really is true, what they say about when you're not looking, you find.