See me, feel me...

I am a gay with an optical disadvantage.

When I was 16, just before getting my drivers license, I wisely went to the optician. After my examination was over, I was told I needed glasses. Nearsighted was my diagnosis, and I was fitted with a pair of (now hideous but then acceptable) glasses.

Over the years, my vision got marginally worse. I began to grudgingly accept that I needed to wear glasses on a near constant basis in order to function. I also began seeing that many of my friends needed some sort of eyesight aid as well. But the trick was, many used contacts.

I debated getting the little plastic discs for quite some time, instead opting for more fashionable frames. But as I've come to realize, people just look better without glasses. It's as if, while one is wearing them, a giant screen is thrust up in front of you, preventing jaws from slackening in appreciation of your god-like beauty...

Ok, maybe not that much, but when's the last time you've looked at a hot guy wearing glasses and found him as attractive as a similar, glasses free guy sitting next to him?

For example...

Versus...

This is actor Kristopher Turner (whom I had no idea existed until seconds ago, thanks to a Google images search). He's very doable with glasses, but maybe just a touch cuter without. Not that I would turn him away if he happened to leave his contacts at home...oh never mind.

With all of this in mind, I went for my annual optical checkup. My doctor is an amazingly friendly guy who actually gives you the time of day, and was more than happy to set me up for a contact trial.

"Why do you want contacts anyway?" he asked. Such a probing question.

"Well, there's this pair of Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses I'm in love with, but I can't get done in prescriptive..." My voice trailed off. Probably not the best answer.

"Hmm, well if it's just for that," he said, looking disapprovingly at the pivoting chair I was stationed in.

"Oh, no, no, not at all! Um, just, you know, to have options," I stuttered. Yeah, like the option of increasing my hotness factor when trying to get picked up by that hottie across the room...

So I rolled my eyes up, he counted to three and magically I had contacts in. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "I can see!" I said. "Without glasses!" No shit.

As I sat there gleefully, we chatted about the basics, care, how long to wear them, on and on...until I started feeling weird.

I stopped him in mid-sentence. "Uh, I'm feeling kinda funky right now," I said on an exhale. He instantly looked concerned, telling me to lean forward and put my head between my knees.

After a moment, the sensation passed, and I sat back up. We continued talking and everything was normal. Until another moment went by and the same woozy feeling crept back into my system.

With my head between my knees for a second time, he suggested maybe taking them out. Seconds later, and I couldn't see again...Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!

As it turns out, some 'special' people like myself have a physiological knee-jerk reaction when it comes to contacts. I admitted that I wasn't even afraid of having them on, and felt no physical discomfort when wearing them, which is why he suspected that my body had simply started resisting having something on my eye, much to my conscious commands to do otherwise.

So I left the office with a pat on the back and a, "Lets try again in a few months and see!" from him. I was pretty disappointed, I must admit, because it would be really nice to not have to wear glasses every day of my life.

A couple weeks later I decided I needed new frames anyway, so I went shopping and wound up with a pretty nice pair:




I'm happy with them, and the sales girls who helped pick them out thought they were flattering. "Mmm, functional and attractive," the one cooed. Yeah, just like me! Flirting from the girls aside, I'm pleased I got them. Now if I can only mindfuck my body into letting me wear contacts, I could give those two (and mostly other guys) something to really appreciate.