I got up before the sun this morning, packed up the car, and hit the road.
A short time later, and I'd unloaded my parents at the airport. Hurrah! I'm free! See, they've gone on vacation (without me, the bastards...) and I'm now all by my lonesome for the next 2 weeks.
Theoretically this is all good. I've got the place to myself, and have no interuptions or distractions. I can walk around naked all day! I can jerk off whenever, wherever. I can even *gasp* have sex! Truly it should be a glorious time.
Actually I'm really looking forward to being 'on my own' again. I went grocery shopping today and grabbed a bunch of stuff I like, and I'm planning on actually living by some sort of schedualed timeframe while they're away. Part of the reason for that is the amount of things I have to do around here as replacements for them. All the chores they do on a daily basis fall to me now...not that I'm going to be doing them all, or as frequently as they would, but there's enough to keep me busy. Hell, even cutting grass and watering gardens takes hours.
In my fantasy world, I was setting up all sorts of great scenarios for my two weeks. All the people I would have over, the parties I could throw, the general freedoms of having only you between your four walls. Then tonight, as I sat eating dinner, I started realizing that things maybe weren't as straightforward as they had seemed. People who I was expecting to be in town aren't, my friendship with Ashley puzzles me ever since coming out to her (I worry that she's just not as good with it as she's let on, even though Laura says its fine), and I'm worried and a little disappointed because I don't have any plans for the Canada Day long weekend. It just feels a little like all the conversations about how excited we were that summer was upon us have led to nothing of great importance happening. I guess now that I have the opportunity I should try and turn that around, take the initiative.
Having some spare time has left me time to waste checking in on friends at school. And of course that's always interesting, especially when it seems like everyone is starting some hot summer romance recently. I've lost track of the number of people who are now seeing someone or in relationships. I guess people have been caught up in Pride fever and are shagging like jackrabbits. Well, the gay ones anyway. The straights are keeping up though, I must admit...but honestly, this is almost summer, isn't the big relationship boom supposed to start in the spring?
Hrm, and Pride. Laura declared the other day that we should go down (well, now it's 'should have' gone down) to Pride in Toronto. I mulled it over for about 3 seconds before saying, "Why?"
"Because, you're supposed to have Pride. Now that you're coming out and all, you should be comfortable in showing that side of yourself."
Thats all fine and well, but it's not like I have strong ties to the gay community as yet. Hell, I don't really have any gay friends. It'd make more sense if I went with at least a few other homos, not just me and my friends from home. Besides, I have very mixed feelings about the whole Pride Parade thing anyway.
It's such a multi-headed beast. On one hand sure, lets celebrate that we have the ablilty to celebrate being whatever sexual orientation you are. Secondly, it's great to show that there is such a community in exsistance, and that mainstream attitudes are not only accepting but embracing the fact that homosexuals exsist outside of bad comedy films.
But where it gets a little dicey for me is the whole over-corporatization and overselling of the event. Is it really necessary to parade around to raise awareness about the GLBT community anymore? I mean, everyone knows about it now, it's no longer a secret! That said, the parade should focus more on social issues, such as the AIDS crisis, and less on the "We're Here, We're Queer" mentality.
Add on top of that the fact that, in order to sell the Queer community as not being at odds or a three-headed mutant dog compared to the straight world, organizers get hot guys dressed in underwear or less to spray each other with water guns and frolic in an outward show of overt sexuality? Do we really need to scare the straights half to death with the idea that these homosexuals are acutally having sex with one another? It just seems to me a little contradictory to on one hand to try and draw the inclusiveness of the 21st century from the very sexually segregated imagery of party boys hosing each other down on floats.
(And yes, I do realize that the entire Parade is not as much fun as these floats are.)
Oh well, maybe by next year I'll have stronger reasons to attend. For now I have to get some beauty sleep for tomorrow night's Stevie Nicks concert (yay!), and plan the intricate details of a dinner party I'll try and have next week. See, I'm showing my pride after all!
3 comments:
I hate it when straight people make the assumption that any gay person who has 'come out' must therefore be 'proud' of their sexuality. I don't really believe in the whole gay pride thing - I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, but that doesn't automatically imply that I'm proud of it. Pride implies that you've actually done something - being gay isn't an achievement. One can have pride in the gay rights movement for its achievements, but to be proud of one's sexuality in and of itself just seems nonsensical to me.
I have not taken part in a pride event. I find the parades far too reliant upon the stereotypes and they simply reinforce them. I would rather "make a difference" in my social universe by representing myself as a real person to my friends and family -- they are the ones who will actually know me.
Steve,
I take the opposite view of the two above. Yes it can be a bit over the top, but just being able to celebrate openly and have a good time doing it is a very positive feeling. Also I find that the more sponsorship the various parades receive the more pissed off the religious right gets. They keep threatening these corporations with boycots, but they can't pull them off. The more corporate America (Canada) becomes involved in our community the more progress we make.
Geoff and I went to Columbus, Ohio Pride last year and had a blast. This year we are bringing along 4 friends to join in with us. We've purchased tickets to see Wicked to make it a real "celebration" for us.
As to the first part of todays blog, summer changes when you go away to college. Your friendships that were always there through grammer school and high school change.....it's part of growing up. Ties you had start changing, it's part of growing up and moving on......
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