Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The 2 week wait...

Well I think I'm off the market.

Not that we cut that much ground today, but we did clear a lot up. About how he hates the phone, and IM, and that he's not seeing anyone else (but still going on Manhunt, though I never got up the nerve to ask why), and the fact that I'm the first boy he's ever been with ("But I've kissed more than one!").

We talked around labels of what we are ("I guess we're going out.") and through the fact he has nothing to be intimidated about ("You've got more experience than me," he said, to which I replied, "Not in this type of relationship.").

I told him how crazy I was about him. He told me how much he likes me, really really, not just sorta-kinda.

I told him how cute he is. He told me that I'm the most gorgeous guy on earth. Even I think that's a bit of a stretch, but I enjoyed hearing it more than once.

"I'd better go, walk me to the station."

"Gee, guess I'd better get some clothes on," I laughed in the semi-darkness.

"Yeah, don't want anyone getting their eye on you, stealing you away," he said.

---

Really, it was interesting to hear my reaction to all this. I mean, he's said all the right things, and I was flattered, but my damn lack of self-confidence kept me from truly enjoying it. Especially the 'gorgeous guy' phrase...I couldn't believe he said it.

I pulled back from our kiss, laughing out loud. "Are you kidding me?" I said. Inside I shrank, warmed by the flattering words but aghast he had said them. So hard for me to hear such high praise. It cannot be true.

Sad, in a way, that I've convinced myself nobody finds me attractive. I didn't even know it was that bad. Sadder still that my knee-jerk reaction is, instead of truly enjoying the statement, pulling back and snorting in disbelief.

---

He wants me to come out to his neck of the woods soon.

"Just a couple people," he said, "just hang out, maybe watch a movie..."

I'm actually really excited by this prospect, because it means this is maybe going somewhere.

---

"Uhh...it's 7. I'm so screwed."

"Well, it won't take you that long to get home," I said, arms wound in his. "What are you going to tell them anyway?"

"That I was lying in bed with the hottest guy I've seen," he said, then he laughed. "Yeah, probably not the best lead in."

---

Two weeks is a long time at this moment. Kinda intimidating to think that we won't see each other until after our crazy-early Thanksgiving, two weekends from now.

After I came, I looked at him quizzically. It was one of those spontaneous sex acts, and unexpected orgasms. "What was that for?"

"Oh, I didn't want you forgetting about me for two weeks."

"Believe me, I'm more worried you're going to forget about me."

He's got work all the time's I'm free, I've got class when he doesn't...plus I'm heading out of town back home next Wednesday, and he's working extra shifts over the holiday. Worst timing ever, though thankfully we've both caught each other's interest enough to be able to wait it out.

---

"What I said before, about the labels. Yeah, I guess we're going out. But it feels a little more serious than that. I don't know what it's called," I said. Somewhere inside I regretted saying it, but I wanted him to know this is moving beyond just dinner and a movie.

"Yeah," he answered.

6 comments:

Naijadude said...

Nice feeling huh? Goodluck with that! ;)

Pete said...

Luv, sweet luv... wow. Hope to get there one day, lucky man.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I don't know that much about relationships but maybe stop over thinking the situation and just go with it. Sounds like you have a good guy there and that is half the battle.

Troystopher said...

Enjoy your time together and the rest will fall into place. You seem like a great guy so I dont think you have to worry too much.

manxxman said...

Steven,

I think every comment so far is spot on. You're in love, you wonder if Danny really loves you, you don't know......you angonize, but at the end of the day you can only just go with the flow and enjoy being with him (or thinking of being with him).

Don't you think that he may also have some of the same feelings you keep inside, inside him. He's as new to the "gay" thing as you.

There are no real rules for falling in love.....it's like the age old question "when will I be a grown up"......

Mark

J.R. said...

Awww... the torment is so sweet. Haha. I'm very happy for you, Steve. You deserve some cozy nights.

Nothing Golden Stays