Two way street...

Everything in life is a two way street.

I want to have that tattooed on my arm, so that I can look at it and remind myself when I forget. Or hang it on my ceiling, so it's the first thing I see in the morning.

It's not an excuse for laziness on my part. I'm not looking for an easy way out of responsibilty, something to allow me to slide blame onto others. But it's a statement that resonates with me nearly every day.

For example, my current state. I had a date tonight. Cute, smart guy. Who texted me this morning to ask if we can push it to tomorrow night instead. And who won't answer his phone.

I initially (and still) felt badly about it. What does it all mean? Is this just a polite brush-off? He seemed so interested yesterday, yet today for no explained reason he says he can't make it. Of course I started to wonder what was wrong with me; did I say something a little off-color, am I not attractive on second thought, was I too eager-sounding?

After thinking about it for a while, I reminded myself that the two way street meant that I shouldn't feel too badly about the situation. I made my effort, he faultered in his. I'm not sure why, but it wasn't something that I can control.

This mentality applies to any situation. You make an effort, and you get shot down. Be it at work, in school, in a relationship...most every problem has more than one contributor. I've just got to learn not to beat myself up when things don't work out, because it's not always on my shoulders.

Like I said, this is no excuse to be lazy. I'm not implying that I should be allowed to slack because there's 'someone else' involved who I can pin blame on. But I'm too quick, especially in today's situation, to simply say that there must be something wrong with 'me'.

In every action of every day, you choose which street you walk down. Some paths take you to meet someone half-way. Others you must walk miles farther until you run into someone, who hasn't walked nearly as long as you have. Sometimes you walk a few feet, and expect people to make the rest of the journey to you. But whatever the case, you're not walking that road alone; the expectation is that you will eventually meet the other person. It all just depends on how much effort you each put into it.

And I'm trying hard not to feel like the one who's failed, on the two-way street of life.