After careful dissection of 'the date', I've got to admit things are no clearer.
Nina balks at a relationship at all, since she's not the committed girl. Laura says that I should just go have fun. Lisa says that everything sounds like a perfect start.
So why am I so worried?
I know why. I'm insecure as all hell, and I'm questioning how charming and enticing he thinks I am. I'm scared that he'll find some other profile online and be off after him, leaving me in the dust.
It's sad, really, that I'm this worked up after one date. Not like we're getting married next week here. It could turn out we're not compatible, or worse, that we're looking for different things.
It could work, and that would be great. I guess the question is, how long before I know it's working?
I don't want to simply 'have fun' only to find out he doesn't want anything serious. Which is hard, considering every time I mention seeing him he seems excited.
Essentially, I want it all. I want something to finally work out. Here I've got what appears to be a great guy, but what do I do next?
Not to mention the utter terror at the fact he's still online, getting hit on by God knows who, chatting to how many other people while he's organizing our lunch date. Of course, this is all complete crap, because theoretically I could (and should) be doing the same thing. But its the insecurity talking; I don't want to loose his interest because of the hundreds of other guys who are hotter, smarter, funnier, better...
My last 'relationship' thingy moved fairly rapidly, as it seemed we were both interested. Not rapidly in the sexual sense, but in the amount of time we spent together. Over the first three days, we had spent at least half of each together. This I am sure is uncommon. There was no cooling off between dates.
The question must be asked, do you get to cuddle on the couch with your dates at this stage? Or am I supposed to be semi-cool, semi-detached and entertain with the city as my living room rather than my apartment. I don't want to ask the 'hard' questions too early, and come off as freakishly clingy, but I can't give the impression that I'm not interested.
Why do I have to question everything I do. Why can't I just go with the flow, and see what develops? Oh, right, because I'm single, and lonely, and grasping at straws.
(This will be my last post on this issue, because I know how droning and boring I will become.)
5 comments:
Dude, dont beat yourself up so much. He's probally going thru the same thing as you, just take it slowly and don't be scared to talk to him about stuff, being open with someone goes along way.
And its not boring, it's interesting, cause we're all going thru, or possibly going to go thru the same thing at some point.
Boring??? Are you kidding me! This is why I (and most others) came here today, to see how it is going for you! More please not less! Probably the best thing to do is talk with him about what is on your mind and you guys can figure out what pace to go at.
Not boring at all. Glad to know there are people out there with the same insecurities.
Brother: you are not alone with these insecurities. Don't stress too much about things — play it cool and go with the flow, and things will fall where they're apt to.
Nothing Golden Stays
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