Jamie and I couldn't get together on Thursday night, but made plans for Friday afternoon.
At 4:30pm I arrived at his door, ready to fall into bed and snuggle. It was bitterly cold outside, and I wanted him to hold me and warm me back up.
Once we were inside, we had a quick hug and kiss, and sat on his bed.
"I'm sorry to say this, but I've got an appointment at 5 I can't miss," he admitted. I was a little disappointed, but I was intent on enjoying our half hour together.
We laid on his bed, holding each other, fully clothed. He told me about his day, I told him about mine, we kissed intermitantly throughout the half hour, grazing each other's crotches and smirking at our hardons. But we never got naked, never jerked each other, never did anything overtly sexual. Just cuddled and talked.
I ended up walking him to his appointment, and we left each other with a quick hug and a promise to see each other soon. I trapsed back home, showered, changed into my chic new jacket and headed out for an evening with friends.
Friday passed, Saturday came (the bottoming experience day), and I found myself at Lisa's place Saturday night. She and her boyfriend and his friend were hanging out, and I joind them for some low-key socializing. But when I got there, I quickly e-mailed Jamie to see if he was free Sunday night.
Literally 5 minutes after I had sent the e-mail, Jamie called me asking if I was busy that night. I almost melted on the spot, but stammered that I was already at a friends, headed out to a movie, and that unless things changed I wouldn't be free. I stupidly forgot to invite him along, that way we could have gone home with each other, but he was alright with it. We agreed on Sunday night dinner plans, and disconnected.
After arriving at his place Sunday night, we headed out for Japanese at an amazing place he knows. The food was wonderful, even though we had to sit at the bar area. We chatted again about everything, being queer, our screwed up families, school...that must be the one thing I love most about him, the fact I can be completely honest and talk about anything with him.
Dinner finished, and we walked back to his place. Once inside, I told him about my experience on Saturday afternoon. I hope he didn't think I was bragging about the hot boy I'd slept with, but he didn't say anything about it. Looking back, he was remarkably quiet about it. I was expecting a lot more excitment and congrats from him. After that conversation, I sat on his bed, he laid his head in my lap, and I ran my fingers through his hair. We talked some more, and broached an interesting subject.
Somewhere in our conversation, he said something along the lines of "is it time for us to have an 'us' talk?".
At the moment he said it, I shrugged it off. It wasn't really a demand to discuss it, or an exclamation of emotion, merely a statement. A few minutes later, I said the words myself. "Do you think it's time for us to have an 'us' talk?" I heard myself say. Suddenly, things changed. The fact I had a boy laying in my lap became a lot more real to me. The situation was a lot more heavy than when I had entered the room.
We never got into the conversation. A little while after it, clothes started coming off, and we were distracted with other things.
When I got home that night, an e-mail was waiting for me.
"I don't think we should have sex together anymore," Jamie wrote. "I want to be your friend and cuddle with you, but I don't think that we should have sex again for a while. It feels like its something that gets between us being friends."
I was shocked. My jaw hung open, as I continued reading.
"When you were telling me about sleeping with that guy, I felt a little jealous. I don't want to feel that way about you, but it's because we slept together."
Suddenly my new friend/sex partner was becoming a lot more like a lover.
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