Ugh. I've had a hell of a few days. School seems to be kicking into full gear, much to my dismay. I usually like school, actually learning and keeping busy through the week, but this semester since my big change on outlook, I realized I really wanted the first month to be light-hearted, fun and social. So far, it has been, probably more than I give credit for. But at the same time, its now that I've got stuff to do, it really puts a cramp into the style.
Not to mention the fact that I've been cancelled on twice already tonight. Well, it was the same event, but both people cancelled on me. The very exciting plan was to go to a movie tonight, and have a few drinks afterwards. I was planning on going with Jamie, because he's had a crappy week and needed perking up, and Lisa, my best friend at school. It was going to be the first time that my two worlds intersect, though I wasn't planning on telling Lisa that the guy sitting next to me also sleeps with me from time to time. It would, in retrospect, have been a night of lies and deceipt, but still it would have been nice to get out together.
First, Jamie e-mails me this afternoon, telling me he forgot that he has a meeting that will last most of the night, and to go on without him. I'll admit, for some reason, I'm really sad he couldn't make it. I haven't seen him since Sunday and miss him a lot (as corny as that sounds). What exactly does that mean, you ask? I don't really know, but after him telling me 'he has a meeting' all night, I got suspicious, jealous, worried that he doesn't want to see me anymore, etc. etc...I'm kinda scared now since that basically means I have feelings for him. But I'm trying to seperate the source of the feelings, ie. am I jealous because my friend may have blown me off for a better time tonight, or am I jealous because my boyfriend is blowing me off for a better time tonight?
Then, Lisa e-mails me, saying that she's got dancing lessions all evening until at least 9:30, but could be free afterwards...if it's any fun though I'd bet she hangs out with whoever she's dancing with. I don't even remember her mentioning dance lessons, but I'm sure that's where she is. It's just a little odd when we talked about going out Thursday night earlier in the week, she neglected to tell me she was already going out...
Couple the double-letdown with the fact I've had a bit of a crappy week, and I've got a gloomy Thursday night ahead of me.
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