Quiet, but not slow...

It's mid-semester, and I'm bored.

Coming back I didn't know what to expect of this year. I had hopes for making inroads in the gay department, opening the doors to new friends and generally just enjoying myself.

While I've definitely had fun, it hasn't quite been the racuous time I was hoping for. That aside, I've been damn busy it seems, and I don't know quite when I'd fit the rocous times in.

Hard to believe though that I'm almost halfway through my semester. Time seems to fly by faster and faster each year. And when I think of all the things yet to do before exams, I shake my head...hell, when I think of the things I need to do before I write some midterms...

I've been laying low this week. Everything seems to be in a funk right now. Even the weather isn't agreeable; the sun hasn't been out for a week and a half. Though I didn't realize I was outwardly mopey, Nina kept giving me looks.

"Are you sure you're OK?" she asked for the fifteenth time. It was sweet, her genuine concern, but I didn't know what to say. "Gee, not really," didn't seem to be a good answer. It actually made me feel bad thinking of her concern, because it was so sweet of her. I must have been very broodish-looking.

There is construction absoloutly everywhere. On both sides of my building projects are underway, banging and clanging and jackhammering me awake at 7 a.m. Who gets up that early!? I was hoping someone would fire a few warning shots at the workers, but so far nobody's done it yet.

What's worse, I think there is construction happening inside the building too. While I was standing the bathroom this morning, the floor was literally vibrating in accompanyment of the muted booms I kept hearing. I wonder if they're working on the unit below us too, just to further my aural enjoyment.

Like I said, the sun refuses to break through the cloud barrier. I know it's fall and all, but shouldn't there be some sunny days? I seriously wonder how S.A.D. effect people, especially living in the close quarters of a city. In certain seasons, like early winter, I don't mind when the sky is steely gray. It's usually accompanied with snow, and feels very seasonal. Fall, on the other hand, usually means cool and damp, with gray skies.

I recieved a letter from my mother yesterday, a real paper one. It was a card, and on the left pane she had written "I love you" in big letters. The note was short, basically saying that she was very proud of me and how much I'm loved. That we'll make it through to the other side. "Mistakes will be made and we will learn and survive them all."

It made me feel good, and loved, but I still didn't really know what to make of it. She didn't say anything about the gay thing. But she did I guess extend an olive branch.

Lisa is having troubles at home. As we were walking out of class, her father called her, which apparently is rare. They talked for a few minutes, and she gave me the news. I felt badly, and we of course sat and discussed it. She's supposed to be coming by tonight because she doesn't want to be alone. I hope I can help cheer her up instead of adding to her bad mood.

Like I said, I'm lying low this week. I can't seem to enjoy my quiet right now, though, because too much is always swimming through my head. But I don't feel much like being too busy right now either. Besides, studying is taking up a bit of my time at the moment.