I thought with all the recent turmoil with my Mom, I could at least find some comfort in Danny's arms.
Considering I still haven't seen or heard from him this weekend, I'd say that didn't exactly happen.
Wednesday he surprised me by meeting me after class. We had a quick lunch and cuddled on the couch. He had just started beating me off when he said, "I have to go study for my midterm tomorrow."
"Huhhh?" I gasped. I was in the throws of thrusting in his hand when he proclaimed his need for study time. Quietly, and with a wicked smile on his face, he zipped my jeans back up.
I wasn't too bothered by this pricktease, as I immediately started thinking ahead to the weekend, when he and I would hopefully get to spend a larger chunk of time together.
"How about this..." I said, (semi) seductively. "You come by Friday night, I make dinner...then Saturday we can do something fun together, and maybe meet up with your friends like you wanted to."
He looked blankly at me. "Actually, I'm busy Friday night. And Saturday night."
"Oh," I said. At this point I was flailing for anything that would get me in the same room as him, so I suggested tagging along on his Friday night activities (which incidentally were with the same people I'd already met).
Though he didn't use these exact words, his response was something along the lines of, "Well, I don't know if I want you along."
At the time I wasn't pissed at the statement, but it irked me afterwards.
I tried a few more approaches to working something out for the weekend, but all he could come up with was, "Maybe Friday afternoon."
Friday morning I texted to see if he was coming. No response. I went on IM to see if he was awake, and he promptly signed off after I signed on. An hour later, I checked Facebook, to find his status as 'Online'.
I fumed for the better part of Friday afternoon. Thanks to his very mixed signals, I really don't know if he gives the slightest shit about me. When we're together, he's full of compliments and always says he's happy with the way things are going. When we're apart, he ignores my messages and doesn't try to work in some time for me in his otherwise not so busy days.
The funny thing is, I don't think he's playing me. He's too new and too young to be. At least, I hope, unless he's pulled the wool over my eyes, the came back and did three more passes with it. Because he just doesn't seem like a jerk.
Saturday I adopted a new attitude. I put some distance between my desire for things to work out and myself. Of course, I'd really regret if things don't work out between us, but I also know the way things are right now is not how I want to find myself in a relationship. In many ways I'd feel badly, because I don't know what he's thinking. Maybe he thinks I'm too forward right now, wanting too much from him. But since he's not a communicative guy, he never said anything like that.
And to think, I was so excited with the possibilities only mere weeks ago.
10 comments:
I know it's hard, but try not to his avoidance annoy you. He may just want some space and even if you think he has that already, perhaps he needs more than you realise.
However, I personally would be a bit weary, don't do anything to makes yourself look silly, but if he wants to play it cool, maybe you can do the same.
Enjoy what you've got and make the most of it though. Don't try and dodge getting hurt either, it's just part of life.
like I said earlier, you are probably taking the best course right now. There will always be ups and downs, maybe he just isn't ready yet.
Geeze hate that feeling. Maybe you should just put it out there and see what he says. If your serious about entering a relationship then it helps by being honest from the outset, he's probally being a normal male and not realising what he's doing. lol ;-)
Sorry if that sounded like a Dad sytle lecture. lol
Space, time and communication usually resolve most issues. Hopefully you'll be outta this limbo sooner than later. Goodluck with everything including schoolwork.
It would appear the me that after you guys had been seperated by "Thanksgiving", etc. that he would want to spend a bit of time with you.......I'm not very impressed with this guy.
I'd be inclined to have a sit down with himm and if he's unavailable it's better to find out now and not left to feel like the "waiting wife".....
I guess there are some things that you just want to do with your friends without bringing your boyfriend along with you... I can totally understand your reaction to the situation, especially when you've already had quite a bit of time apart - but maybe give him the benefit of the doubt for now, and hopefully things will go back to 'normal' next week.
I'm not totally up to date on all you two have been through but I can relate to your frustration with the situation as you described it (I mean, in the middle of messing around he pulls a line about studying now? damn). While it's hard, try to focus on you for a little bit and hopefully he'll pull his head out.
I would definitely say pay attention to any signals (or direct words, for that matter) that he may be giving you. I just got out of a relationship where I was given on the warning signs, but I ignored them, to my own broken heart . . .
Ultimately, you've got to judge your own situation, but remember, you have to look out for yourself first and make sure your needs are being met in the relationship.
Weird behavior. I'm torn between advising you to "play it cool" and telling you to have a talk with him. I guess it really depends on the more subtle details only you're privy to. Maybe give it a little more time before you take action...
(I'm still catching up on the blog, so maybe there's been developments I haven't read to yet!)
Nothing Golden Stays
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