I swore up and down I wasn't going to post again today. I was going to worry about finishing school work, and getting ready for tonight. But this...this blows me away.
I jump on one of the 'dating' sites I belong to, and have 1 message. Look at it...hmm, this guy's cute, but strangely farmiliar. Look closer, at another picture...and holy shit it's the 'token gay guy' from my Residence floor last year.
Last year I always thought he was really cute, but never really got to know him. He was always out with his friends, and never seemed too interested in getting to know me. I clearly remember finding out he was gay at the beginning of last year, our mutual friend was hanging out in my room, and she said something about his 'boy back home'.
"Wait a minute, he's gay?" I said, surprised, and very excited at the prospect.
"Um, yeah, I kinda thought so, then he told me about his boyfriend..." she said. "Why, didn't you think he was gay?"
"Actually no, I like to think that straight guys can have a sense of style and class..."
So now what do I do? I mean, I've had a bit of an attraction to him since I lived with him. He's got the cutest smile. If I were out I'd say sure, this is my dream come true. But since I'm not, what will I do? We have all of 2 mutual friends, both of whom I don't really spend much time with. He'd tell them, wouldn't he? And would he still want me if he knew the guy he was messaging online was the guy who lived down the hall from him last year?
I mean this as a totally serious issue. I'm not just going to flippantly say "Oh sure, lets shag and please don't tell anybody." But I'm also not going to ignore his response, and miss out on an opportunity to actually be with someone who I've had my eye on for a while.
I need some advice super fast about what the hell I should do now. Holy shit, this world is small.
4 comments:
Don't worry about it to much right now. Send a message back and see how it develops from there.
If something does happen with the guy, ask him to respect you not being "out" (yet) and not to tell anyone.
In these kind of situations its best to just not think about it to much and go with the flow.
Hey man,
I agree, respond to the message. You could explain to him you aren't out and ask that he respect that. Any gay guy worth your time will remember what it was like being in the closet and how traumatic it would have been if someone outed them, and will respect your wishes. But if you think you'd like to date him and not just shag him, message him and take it slow. Good Luck!
-Tim
Yep. I agree with the other two. Send him a message. Not outing a brother is de rigueur.
(And I imagine he recognizes you, Steve.)
ap
The worst that can come from this is you make a friend who is gay.. and if something happens then it is all good. I have hung out and spoken with a couple of guys with 2-3 degrees of separation and they have not revealed anything about my sexuality - so i think it must be some sorta unwritten code.
ENjoying your blog. Keep it up.
cheers.
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