Lord, grant me sleep (part 3)...

I woke up a little early on Friday morning, feeling a little guilty about being in Brian's bed for the second night in a row, and feeling more than a little tired. I usually get my 8 hours every night, and I can function fine if I miss them for a night...but two nights in a row was a little tough to swing.

As I laid there, I though about everything that'd happened in the past few days. It had been probably the most amazing relationship-type experience I've ever had...we'd gone out, gotten to know each other, spent a Valentines Day together...on one hand, it's great. On the other, things were moving pretty fast, and I don't even know what type of relationship I want. Hell, I don't even know if I like him enough to be with him in a relationship...

The truth is, I don't really know what I want. I decided that I can never allow myself to just be happy, I have to overanalyze everything, worry about things...I even did some worrying in a fung-shuei themed panic; I wish I'd have gone out with my friends this week, but I was acutally finally having the opportunity to be with someone...therefore my energy is never balanced, or some such crap.

There is more to come on the 'what I want' theme, but it's a story I'm saving for the next post.

I dozed off again, and woke up at 10. Brian rolled over, rolled me on top of him, and proceeded to make out with me for a chunk of time. He shifted me forward, my cock pointing directly into his face, and I sat straight upright as he sucked me. He has no blinds, so there I was for anyone to see, and as I glanced out the window I realized other units in his building could probably see in if they were looking...which was kinda hot but kinda not.

I slid back down on top of him, and we proceeded to do some dry humping. He fingered me slowly, then lined himself up rubbing my ass...it was hot. I rolled off of him, and in passing felt my crack, which had become wet with precum. He flipped over, and I slowly rubbed myself around his ass, and finally got some moans out of him.

This has been the first time that I'd wanted to wait to have anal sex. I mean, I like it, and I like him...but I didn't want to with him at that moment. It felt almost too fast, and quite honestly I don't know where he stands on sex issues. He said he doesn't hook up, but then he was fine with being with me, but then he was hesitant at first. So I don't really want to rush him, or put a stress on 'we must have anal sex', because it's something that can wait.

Finally I got dressed, and had terrible bed-head. I didn't bother to shower since I was now running late, so I asked him for some help. He laughed at me, running his fingers through my hair, and told me there wasn't much he can do.

"Oh, but here, take a hat," he said, pulling out a green hat, a touque-esque thing with a rim on it. I've never worn one of these before, and started to protest, but he pulled it on my head, adjusting the bill so it stuck out on 'the angle', and pulled some hair down onto my forhead. I immediately felt goofy, because I have no sense of how I look or how to style myself in these 'hip/cool' clothes. But he said it looked cute (which I can't trust, because everything looks cute on me to him so far), so I got a quick kiss and headed out the door.

In the elevator, I checked myself out. I did indeed, after getting over the initial shock of seeing myself in said hat, look pretty good.

Class and my meeting with a prof went well, and I realized I'd spent a half out feeling stressed that moring for nothing. After it was over, I called Lisa, because I needed an update on her Valentines night. We headed for lunch, which took about 2 hours, and involved both of us getting kinda drunk in celebration of our success in the dating world. It was actually really fun.

While we were at lunch, Jack texted me. He's one of the other dates I'd lined up for the week, but who hadn't been available until now. He agreed to meet for coffee at 4, and said he was free all day but had to be home early for work the next morning.

Lisa then asked the inevitable. "I'm really happy that you're doing the dating thing, but how are you going to choose?"

I looked at her. This was another thing nagging me...Brian and I were already a few steps ahead of the other guys, but its not like it's anything serious yet. So the way it's going to work for now is I go on my dates with the other 2 guys (possibly 3 depending on how Rez-Guy goes), and if it goes well go on a few more and see which I like the most. I doubt I can do the multiple boyfriend thing, and I wouldn't want to, so at some point I'm going to have to choose. But that's a little in the future.

At 4 I met up with Jack, who gave me a semi the moment I saw him. He's tall and slender, with well defined features and a certain 'air' around him. As we talked, I found out he's also sweet, kind, very intelligent and passionate about politics, like me. This was all good. He works a pretty crazy job where he's never actually in town, and never spends his vacation time here, so I don't really know how things would work out between us...but that's something to worry about in the future.

It was a fun conversation that lasted until after 6, when he suggested that he needed to go shopping for a swimsuit for his vacation next week. I figured he wouldn't want me along...or he would want to show off in front of me. So we went shopping, finally winding up in lululemmon athletic wear. He grabbed 2 board shorts, and headed to the changeroom. He stepped out first in the green pair (sadly still wearing his shirt...but who would take their shirt off to try on a pair of shorts?) and walked over to me and the mirror. He looked himself up and down, turned around, and pulled them tight across his ass.

"How do they look?" he said, motioning to his ass. They showed his very nice ass just fine, and they looked nice on him. I said so, and he tried on the second pair with the same method. These ones were brown, and looked as nice as the green ones. His ass again looked very nice in them, and that seemed to be the biggest concern for him. He hesitated, since he "doesn't wear green," but ended up buying the green pair.

He walked me to the subway, and stopped. "So what is the custom here, do we shake hands or hug?.." I reached out and wrapped my arms around him. We pulled away, and he stepped a few feet from me, saying that he would be away for a few days but might be back early in the week before he's gone on vacation, and I've got his number, and his e-mail, and to stay in touch to see if he's free. Then he gave me the look.

I'd been scared that he wasn't really interested, because he didn't seem to be making any passes at me, but there, standing on the platform, he gave me the piercing glance that I was afraid wasn't coming. I scampered home all excited and really, really tired.

Friday evening I was invited to a house party from friends at school, and was planning on going, but when I got in the door, I couldn't build up enough strength to go back out again. I really should have, because I never get invited to house parties, but I was dead exhausted. That, and the fact that I didn't really know anybody who was going...which shouldn't stop me and I felt immediately guilty about even thinking...

So I stayed in, ate some Thai food, and chatted to some friends online, and finally collapsed into bed.