Ageism and who I'll do...

So apparently I touched someone's nerve when I wrote about buying my breifs and made some comments about age and sexual appeal.

I had spoke of a man in his 40's who I defined as 'sexually undesirable'. I stand by it. I don't think that anyone who's in his 40's is sexy, nor will I in the next short while.

However, I will readily admit that he might have been attractive to men his age. It's a simple fact that we'll all be having sex past age 30, and it's something people should be proud of. So when I said he was undesireable, it's true; he was to me. I still aknowledge the fact that one day I'll be his age too, but by then I'm sure I'll have grown into the acceptance of playing with guys my own age. Because that was the whole point of the comment...I plan on playing with guys my age, and not too much older.

But when people start thinking that younger should be into older...and have an open mind about age...I get scared.

I've seen the dirty 18-year-old bois tagging along behind the dapper 40-somethings, and it's just plain weird. Sure, girls do it with straight guys all the time, and my feelings are the same. The way it falls is around a 10 year age difference for comfort's sake. If you're 18, you probably shouldn't be sleeping with anyone over age 28, and so on. The rule works backwards too...40-somethings really shouldn't try to pick up 18-year-old high school boys. It's all just kinda gross.

So why do I think it's so weird? Well, for starters, I highly doubt that people who are of that large and age gap are sexually attracted to one another. OK, that's not entirely true...I'm sure when I'm in my 40's I'll be horned up by the sight of a 20-year-old with painted on pants and a Baby-Gap T-Shirt that barely covers his abs. But do you think that young guy is interested in the old dude with thinning hair, weather-beaten skin and sunken eyes?

It's weird because there are so many psychological hangups with people who partake in these relations. It's pretty obvious that the younger one either is looking for the daddy-type figure, or is easily manipulated, or might even be easily manipulating the older guy for money and security. No matter how you cut it, all of those things aren't exactly engaging with a free and clear conscious.

The same could be said for older guys trying for younger guys. It's more forgivible, since they want to have sex with hot boys. But at the same time, why would they think they ever had a chance with them? It falls into the same category: they're either being used and manipulated into giving up money and pampering the younger one, or doing the manipulating in order to satisfy their sexual desires.

So no, I don't necessarily condemn or condone these vast age differences. I'm just saying for me, the situation isn't going to arise. I just don't see myself falling for someone that much older than me, or vice versa.

And I'm not being demeaning to those of you who may enjoy these relationships. For example, Brent Corrigan's boyfriend is much older than Brent is, but by all accounts they are a truely loving and committed couple. I think that's great. So don't get all upset because I don't like to think about 40-year-olds hooking up with the guys in my English class...because like all things, as long as everyone's walking into a situation with eyes open, I guess I really don't have a problem with what goes on behind closed doors.

If you are in a relationship with a large-ish age gap, how did it happen, and how is it different from relationships you've had in the past?