The up and down...

Well after the whole fiasco on Monday with Brian, I finally did end up having a talk with him, that evening. He said he felt really guilty about not having his phone on him, and that he hoped I wasn't disappointed with him. As it turns out, he had a job interview Monday afternoon that he'd never even mentioned before, so that explained why he was away in the afternoon, and needed to go out in the evening.

Then he told me that our dinner on Sunday wasn't exactly as good as I had anticipated. I was really in a bad mood, according to him, and he didn't really have a good time. But he never said that while I was being an ass at dinner, or before we went to a movie...

Communication is something we really need to work on here. We're both pretty paranoid people, by the sounds of it, and we're always wondering if the other is mad at us. He even went so far as to say that on Sunday night, he thought my "goodbye" was so distant that he'd never see me again. So we really need to work on the honesty/communication thing. Badly.

Yesterday I went out with him late afternoon for a walk and dinner, which lead to going back to his place and hanging out all night. He straightened my hair, which was cute (and it looked really good too), and we look at his yearbooks and he told me his high school story. It was a really good night, that started awkwardly since I was worried he would still be upset, but ended really well with us having a ton of fun with each other.

So I don't know where this leaves us. At the beginning of the night, I felt really awkward and worried that things wouldn't improve. But they did, and we ended up having a good time. We're all good in both our minds.

But then there have been the comments...the idea that maybe he/I aren't ready for a relationship. Maybe that's true, but we're learning and maybe even getting more mature about things...and for the moment I want to hold on because I am having fun (and I feel like I'm allowed to have fun), and because I really do like him.